Today, we are remembering and celebrating our son, JohnThomas.
Hugs, hugs, hugs, little boy! We miss you and love you so so so much.
Some of you have asked about JohnThomas and his/our story...and I'm so happy for that. Please, do not be embarrassed to ask- I LOVE the opportunity to acknowledge him and remember him!
JohnThomas was due in late Oct 2007. We had a scare with extra fluid on the brain and in the sac, so we were referred for a Level II ultrasound. The high-risk doctor saw nothing immediately wrong and recommended that we return every 2 weeks to be monitored.
But suddenly in mid-Aug, I stopped feeling the baby move. I was 31 weeks pregnant.
JohnThomas was delivered via c-section (he was breech) on Aug 16th, 2007. He weighed 3 lbs, 8 ounces and was 16.5" long. We were able to spend the day with him, holding and cuddling with him. We dressed him in a cute sleeper for the day, then changed him into a hand-made burial gown someone had donated to the hospital. We took lots of pictures. He looked just like Mike- even down to his fingernails.
My mother flew in the night before to be with us. Mike's mom flew in a week later, and then my Aunt (and Godmother) came to support us, too. Words cannot express our appreciation for their help.
The initial grief was horrible. I'd spend hours awake in the middle of the night sobbing and sobbing. I was in a fog and had trouble giving Catherine my full attention. A friend loaned me a book that saved my life..."Empty Cradle, Broken Heart". I sat up at night reading this and was so grateful to know I wasn't alone. I joined a group called H.A.N.D....Houston's Aid in Neonatal Death. It was eye-opening to discover how many others have suffered similar losses. Friends surrounded us and the support was amazing and humbling.
We never did find out what happened...but we are at peace with that now. God had a plan for us and we were blessed with another son just 22 months later. Life has been rich for us, despite this loss. JohnThomas was cremated and we keep his ashes on our mantle so he is always with us.
We still think of JohnThomas every single day. I wonder what he'd be like, what his voice would sound like, what his favorite toy would be. But we KNOW he's in Heaven, watching us and talking to us and laughing with us.
JohnThomas is our angel- pure and simple. xxx
Through my haze of tears, I just read this and have to say that you are one heck of an amazing lady! You are so strong to have not only endured this, but to have come through as such a positive, generous, caring person - Namaste (the literal translation is "I salute you.")
ReplyDeleteYou and Mike have a beautiful family - enjoy
xx
Happy birthday sweet JT! I agree whole heartedly with @simonethompson...you all are truly amazing!! hugs!
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